Grief Pain

The Little Losses
That Deplete Us

By Jon Terrell, M.A.


Many of us carry around a backlog of emotional pain from the past. This unfinished grief crowds our present moment awareness and depletes us. Unresolved grief and pain weighs us down and keeps us from living our life fully, with love, joy and enthusiasm.   

When we have a sudden loss of a loved one, our grief pain can be intense and overwhelming. People often attend our retreats to help them work through this searing pain. If you have had a sudden loss, go to this page which is gateway to many of the pages I've written about grief

Weighed Down By The Past   

But the pain I'm writing about today is different than's a result of accumulated losses that gradually weigh us down and deplete our resources.    

We often ignore, avoid and bury this grief and pain, not realizing we are also burying parts of ourselves. Here are some examples of losses we may have stepped over and not healed from: 

- loss of relationships--such as when friends moved away  
- loss of our childhood--and our dreams 
- job losses
- loss of our youth, physical strength or mental sharpness 
- loss of a pet, favorite place, teacher or mentor, etc.  

When we don't open up to and  face into the uncomfortable grief pain feelings that arise in these situations, we are diminished a little bit, each time.  We lose a part of our aliveness and love. Our hearts harden.    

These unacknowledged losses take their toll. They pile one on top of another, building up like a wall of insulation, of numbness.  

What are some of the ways our lives are diminished by this grief pain? In addition to a loss of enthusiasm and present moment awareness (because so much of our life energy and awareness is stuck in the unresolved issues) we can experience:

- disappointment 
- disillusionment
- feeling shut down, withdrawn from life, depressed, isolated
- guilt 
- addictive behaviors
- anxiety, worry
- helplessness
- loss of confidence

Many of us spend a lot of time trying to avoid these uncomfortable experiences of grief pain. We try to transcend, distract ourselves or avoid these feelings through TV, the internet, vacations, medications, etc., even meditation can be a way of avoiding.   

But until we deal with these feelings they remain unresolved, like hungry ghosts eating away at us.   

Emotional Healing Retreats For Old Grief and Pain

At the Grief And Loss Retreats and Breaking Free (Shalom) Retreats participants join together to support each other. We turn towards and embrace old sadness and hurts, big and small, that are deadening our hearts and lives.

Rather than continue the old pattern of avoidance, we learn the process of "working it through." We experience the power and joy of an open heart, and discover resources we didn't even know we had.

In doing so we rescue ourselves and gather back the awareness and life energy that had been stuck in the pain and grief. We come home to the present moment.

Participants feel new strength, new joy, a sense of relief and excitement. We open up. Colors become brighter, more vivid. We come  alive again.

Often the change is quite unexpected. We've forgotten, having lived closed down for so long that we've forgotten what life could be. And then, as we remember again, we wake up to life again. 

For more information and to contact Jon Terrell directly, use the form below.

Go From Grief Pain Page To Handling Grief

Go To Grief and Loss Retreat

Go To Grief Stricken Page

Go To Awakenment Wellness Home

Go To Long Distance Grief Counseling Page

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