How Can a Divorce Retreat Help You Heal After Divorce?

By Jon Terrell, M.A.

A retreat to heal emotional pain at our Grief and Loss Retreat

Divorce can be hellish! We go through a whole set of feelings, from anger and blame to feeling worthless and sad. We go through a rollercoaster of feelings, perspectives, and thoughts. Many people who come to our Grief, Loss, and Difficult Emotions retreats do so because they are seeking a divorce retreat where they can work through their emotional pain and get their lives back on track.

I've led retreats that help people heal from sadness and other emotional pain for over twenty-five years. People who are considering a divorce, going through one, or have been divorced attend to heal their past relationship wounds and be able to move on, ready to love and be loved again.

Our Feelings Are Connected

Where there is grief, there is also fear, anger, and other feelings. For women, anger may be the most complex feeling to get to, while for men, it is often grief.

But beneath the primary emotions are other ones.

When making a big decision, such as getting a divorce, we can experience anxiety and fear about the future: 

• What will become of me?
• Who am I without my partner?
• Will I ever love again?

Underneath our thoughts and questions are core emotions. These emotions live in our bodies.  At our divorce retreats, we create a loving, supportive community where each person can express their feelings and work through them. Feelings evolve when we express them, but they stay stagnant when we suppress them. 

It's often a huge relief just to express our feelings. Suppressing them takes so much energy that letting them out feels good. We feel more relaxed, present, and alive! We feel more energized!

(It can be exhausting to hold them back. See this page on depression related to holding feelings back.)

One feeling can lead to another. People judge themselves (self-blame) for having feelings and learn to suppress them because they see them as wrong or uncomfortable, such as anger, resentment, or fear.

We push uncomfortable feelings down into our bodies...fear and anxiety into our nervous system and grief into our digestive systems (so-called "gut feelings"), for example.

And if children are involved, it can be doubly difficult. Many people who are contemplating divorce postpone the decision to protect their children. They may suppress their needs and desires to keep the family together until the children are older and more independent.

Listening Without Giving Advice

One of the most healing aspects of the retreat is helping people learn the loving skill of listening. We long to be heard and to express ourselves fully without interruption, criticism, yelling, being ignored, being put down, etc.

And we long to express ourselves and be heard without being given advice! At our divorce retreats, we have a flag that says "Advice Free Zone."

Our friends and family may not be able to avoid giving advice, especially those who have gone through a divorce. And. you may want practical information and ask for that type of advice.

But for the most part, you may have to train those who love you to let you vent and talk without too much interruption and advice. Learn to ask for what you need, whether that's space to talk things through.

Our divorce retreats help people transform their difficult emotions, working them through to their natural, positive design:
-Grief naturally evolves back into love and joy (but grief is the slowest feeling, so this takes time)
-Anger transforms into empowerment, focus, and assertiveness.
-Anxiety and fear change into excitement, inspiration, creativity, and new directions.

One of the most healing aspects of the retreat is helping people learn the loving skill of listening. We long to be heard, to express ourselves fully without interruption, criticism, yelling, being ignored, put down, etc.

And we long to express ourselves and be heard, without being given advice! At our divorce retreats we have a flag that says "Advice Free Zone."

Our friends and family may not be able to avoid giving advice, especially those who have gone through a divorce. And you may want practical information and ask for that type of advice.

But for the most part, you may have to train those who love you to let you vent, talk without too much interruption, and without advice. Learn to ask for what you need, which may be space to talk things through. 

Our divorce retreats help people transform their difficult emotions, working them through to their natural, positive design:
-Grief naturally evolves back into love and joy (but grief is the slowest feeling, so this takes time)
-Anger transforms into empowerment, focus, and assertiveness.
-Anxiety and fear change into excitement, inspiration, creativity, and new directions.

At our retreats for difficult emotions, we help people express and move through their emotional pain quickly. We do this by creating a loving, intentional community focused on helping each other heal, not through advice, but through a unique, intensive healing process.

We all want to help others. Most of the time, though, people going through the pain of a divorce want to be heard and express their feelings. In expressing those feelings, we can come to our own sense of what to do.

Giving advice (unless we are asked) can disempower people. The best therapists don't give advice. They listen well and help their clients discover their own truths.

Learn More About Divorce Retreats

Our Grief, Loss, and Difficult Emotions Retreats offer a safe, healing place for men and women to work through uncomfortable feelings around grief. People come who are struggling in relationships, who are going through a divorce, or who have been divorced and still have anger, grief, and other feelings associated with their past partner.

We don't offer separate Divorce Retreats, but include people working through all types of loss and emotional pain. We create a loving community of people going through different painful experiences and learn to see each other through the eyes, ears, and hearts of love.

Our retreats are intensive healing experiences, and we require a personal interview before you can register. We offer these retreats once a year in Orlando, Florida, occasionally in California, and several times a year in western Massachusetts, at our retreat center, Star Dance, which is also my home.

To learn more and set up an interview, use the form below to reach me. I will get back to you within a day, unless I am leading a retreat.

Go To the Grief and Loss Retreat Information Page

Go to Healing Divorce Grief, and Interview with a participant

Go To Home Page

Legal Documents for those who want to attend our retreats: Go Here