Divorce Retreat
By Jon Terrell, M.A.

A retreat to help those going through emotional pain

Divorce can be hellish! We go through a whole set of feelings, from anger and blame to feeling worthless and sad. We go through a rollercoaster of feelings and confusing thoughts. Many people going to our Grief, Loss and Difficult Emotions retreats come because they are seeking a divorce retreat where they can work through their emotional pain.

I've been leading retreats that help people heal the pain of sadness and other emotions for over twenty-five years. People who are considering a divorce, going through one, or have been divorced attend to heal their past relationship wounds and be able to move on, ready to love and be loved again.

Our Feelings Are Connected

Where there is grief, there is also fear, anger and other feelings. For women, anger may be the most complex feeling to get to, while for men, it is often grief.

But beneath the primary emotions are other ones.

When making a big decision, such as to get a divorce, we can experience anxiety and fear about the future: 

• What will become of me?
• Who am I without my partner?
• Will I ever love again?

Underneath our thoughts and questions are core emotions. These emotions live in our bodies.  At our divorce retreats, we create a loving, supportive community so that each person can express their feelings and help work them through. Feelings evolve as they are expressed but remain stagnant when suppressed inside us. 

It's often a huge relief just to express our feelings. So much energy goes into suppressing them, that letting them out feels good, We feel more relaxed, present and alive! We feel more energized!

(It can be exhausting to hold them back. See this page on depression related to holding feelings back.)

One feeling can lead to another. People judge themselves (self-blame) for having feelings and have learned to suppress them as they consider them wrong or uncomfortable, such as anger, resentment, or fear.

We push uncomfortable feelings down into our bodies...fear and anxiety into our nervous system and grief into our digestive systems (so-called "gut feelings"), for example.

And if children are involved, it can be doubly difficult. Many people who are contemplating divorce postpone the decision to protect their children. They may suppress their needs and desires to keep the family together until the children are older and more independent.

Listening Without Giving Advice

One of the most healing aspects of the retreat is helping people learn the loving skill of listening. We long to be heard and to express ourselves fully without being interrupted, criticized, yelled at, ignored, put down, etc.

And we long to express ourselves and be heard without being given advice! At our divorce retreats, we have a flag that says "Advice Free Zone."

Our friends and family may not be able to avoid giving advice, especially those who have gone through a divorce. And. you may want practical information and ask for that type of advice.

But for the most part, you may have to train those who love you to let you vent and talk without too much interruption and advice. Learn to ask for what you need, which may be a space for you to talk things through.

Our divorce retreats help people transform their difficult emotions, working them through to their natural, positive design:
-Grief naturally evolves back into love and joy (but grief is the slowest feeling, so this takes time)
-Anger transforms into empowerment, focus, and assertiveness.
-Anxiety and fear change into excitement, inspiration, creativity, and new directions.

One of the most healing aspects of the retreat is helping people learn the loving skill of listening. We long to just be heard, to express ourselves fully without being interuped, criticized, yelled at, ignored, put down etc.

And we long to just be able to express ourselves and be heard, without being given advice! At our divorce retreats we have a flag that says "Advice Free Zone."

Our friends and family may not be able to avoid giving advice, especially those who have gone through a divorce. And you may want practical information, and ask for that type advice.

But for the most part, you may have to train those who love you to just let you vent, let you talk without too much interruption and without advice. Learn to ask for what you need, which may be a space for you to just talk things through. 

Our divorce retreats help people transform their difficult emotions, working them through to their natural, positive design:
-Grief naturally evolves back into love and joy (but grief is the slowest feeling, so this takes time)
-Anger transforms into empowerment, focus, and assertiveness.
-Anxiety and fear change into excitement, inspiration, creativity, and new directions.

At our retreats for difficult emotions, we help people express and move through their emotional pain in a short time. We do this by creating a loving, intentional community whose focus is helping to heal each other, not through advice but through a unique, intensive healing community process.

We all want to help others. Most of the time, though, people going through the pain of a divorce want to be heard and express their feelings. In expressing those feelings, we can come to our own sense of what to do.

Giving advice (unless we are asked) can disempower people. The best therapists don't give advice. They are good listeners and help their clients discover their own truths.

Learn More About Divorce Retreats

Our Grief, Loss and Difficult Emotions Retreats are ideal for men and women seeking a safe, healing place to work through their uncomfortable feelings around grief. People come who are struggling in relationships, who are going through a divorce, or who have been divorced and still have anger, grief, and other feelings associated with their past partner.

We don't offer separate Divorce Retreats but include people working through all types of loss and emotional pain. We create a loving community of people going through different painful experiences and learn to see each other through the eyes, ears, and hearts of love.

Our retreats are intensive healing experiences, and we require a personal interview before registering for one. We offer these retreats once a year in Orlando, Florida, occasionally in California, and several times a year in western Massachusetts, at our retreat center, Star Dance, which is also my home.

To find out more, and to set up an interview, use the form below to reach me. I will get back to you within a day, unless I am leading a retreat.

Go To Grief and Loss Retreat Information Page

Go To Healing Divorce Grief, and Interview with a participant

Go To Home Page