How To Deal With Anger
By Jon Terrell, M.A.

angry man on mobile phone

Learn how to deal with anger!

It's the biggest of all the feelings. While grief can weigh us down and fear can shrink us, anger is loud, aggressive and bold. It pushes outward at others and almost always has a highly focused target: I'm mad at YOU!

Anger is saying “Pay attention to ME! Listen to me!”

You CAN learn how to deal with anger and transform all its "dark" life energy into pure passion and aliveness. You can find emotional healing. Come to our anger retreat to get your anger out and help it transform to a force for good in your life and in the world.

It yells “Fight.” When we get mad, the blood flows to our big muscles...readying them for punching, kicking, lashing out. And if we suppress that arising feeling, we can end up extremely tense, pressured, and feeling trapped.

We can even feel like a victim and blame others for it. “You made me do it…you made me mad.” Perpetrators of family violence often feel that way--they see themselves as victims. Go to What Are Your Anger Triggers? for more on this.

Anger can be HUGE! Scary! Dangerous! Violent! Noisy!

My work is to help people transform stuck, uncomfortable emotions to reveal the gifts within them. There are deep treasures within our “dark” feelings. Through retreats and individual work I teach people how to deal with anger and free up all that “negative” energy to become Aliveness, Passion, Focus, Joy and much more

At our Grief, Loss and Difficult Emotions Retreat each participant goes through an alchemical process that transmutes even the darkest feelings.

At these events you learn how to deal with anger, and experience it transforming into passion and joy! We discover that in the heart of darkness, and in our deepest pain, there is our greatest gifts, the gifts of light, and of love.

It takes courage, safety and group support to take this journey. For those folks who have gone on this journey, the retreat is often viewed as a major turning point, a life changing event. 

What Causes Anger and How Can We Deal With It?

Anger is a display of power. When we feel we may be losing control or not get what we want, we can get mad.

Anger says, “Pay attention to me! I don’t like what you are doing!”

It sets limits, creates boundaries. If we are not in touch with our aggressive feelings we may have trouble in this area, trouble saying “no” and getting our needs met.

And, when we can’t say “no”, our energy oozes out. Without a clear “NO” we may never have sufficient energy to really say “YES” to life.

People who are fully alive have done this emotional work. They can say “yes” and “no.” They don’t need to vent their frustration and it doesn’t come out sideways in blaming and shaming others. They can be assertive but aren’t aggressive.

And they certainly don’t feel like victims. If you feel like a victim in relationships, you probably need to do your emotional work, and gather back your lost power.


How To Deal With Anger:
A Retreat For Transforming Uncomfortable Feelings

Many of us avoid anger in ourselves and avoid folks who express it. We  don’t want any part of it. We avoid it in others and suppress it in ourselves. So it goes underground, out of mind. Then it appears again, when we least want it.

As a child, when we expressed our anger it may have been met with our parent’s hostility. You may have been told to "Go to your room" or were spanked when you were mad.

You didn't learn how to deal with anger in a healthy way.

In some families, it is totally banished. It goes into what Jung called the “Shadow.” It may get projected outward onto others. Then we start having dreams of violence, of being attacked. And we may find we attract people into our lives who become mad at us. Our power is trying to come back home, not to haunt us, but to awaken us, to make us whole.

I believe our hidden anger wants to come home, as does all of our denied feelings. All that energy hidden away is pure gold, waiting for us to accept it and reveal its true gift.

Emotions are our life energy, our life force, our vitality, and ultimately our love. It is wanting to return, wanting to come home to you…to your body and mind, back into this life you live and back to this precious moment.

This is the work of of our emotional healing retreats Breaking Free of the Old Story  and Grief, Loss and Other Difficult Emotions.. People seeking an anger retreat attend and find relief.

A group of strangers gets together for deep emotional healing. We befriend each other and enter into a journey of discovery. Like ancient alchemists, we learn to turn the lead of negative feelings into gold, into passion, joy and excitement.

We learn how to deal with anger and other difficult emotions. We learn how to say "no" in a constructive way, which clears the way for a positive "yes" to our life and the lives of others! 

In this mystery we find a treasure within each of us, a gift that has been waiting for us all along. 

For more information on how to deal with anger, contact Jon using the form below. Jon Terrell leads retreats for anger and other emotions in western Massachusetts, Florida, and California. You can send him a message below.

Go to Main Retreat Page

Go to What Are Your Anger Triggers

Go to Anger and Depression

Go to Grief

Go to Fear

Go to Fear of Intimacy

Image: Danilo Rizzuti /

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