What Is My Anxiety Trying to Tell Me?

By Jon Terrell, M.A.

Anxiety can feel like an alarm that won't switch off — a racing heart, a tight chest, a mind running through every "what if." Naturally, we want it gone, and fast. But after more than 50 years of helping people work with difficult emotions, I've come to see anxiety differently.  It isn't an enemy to defeat. It's a messenger, and it usually has something important to say. What is my anxiety trying to tell me? Read on to find out.

When we learn to listen, anxiety loosens its grip. And the gifts hidden inside it begin to show themselves.

How Anxiety Shows Up in the Body

Anxiety is a close cousin of fear and shares many of the same physical signs:

• A pounding or racing heartbeat
• Sweating, shaking, or trembling
• Shortness of breath
• Dizziness or numbness
• An upset stomach
• A sense that you might lose control, "go crazy," or die

When these build quickly, anxiety can become a panic attack. The sensations are real, and they can be frightening. They are also the body's way of saying: pay attention.

What Is My Anxiety Trying To Tell Me? 

Fear usually has a clear target — the bear on the hiking trail. Anxiety is vaguer. It pulls us out of the present moment and into worry about what might happen next. Fritz Perls, the great Gestalt psychoanalyst, called it "the gap between the now and the later."

Because its cause is often hidden, the message isn't always obvious. Anxiety may be pointing to:

• A part of your life that is out of balance
• Something you've been avoiding or denying
• A need that isn't being met
• An old story from the past — a time you felt helpless — still running in the background
• A change that is calling you, even if you don't feel ready

Pushing anxiety down rarely works. Avoidance shrinks our world, and the messenger just knocks louder.

Questions to Ask Your Anxiety

The next time anxiety shows up, try getting curious instead of fighting it. Sit quietly, take a few slow breaths, and ask:

• What feels threatening to me right now?
• What is missing in my life?
• What am I avoiding, or hiding from?
• What would I do if I weren't afraid?
• What does my body need to feel safe right now?

Write down whatever comes, even if it doesn't make sense yet. Dreams, daydreams, and those little nagging thoughts often hold the clues. Sometimes the answer takes time—and the support of someone who can help you explore it, like [emotional healing counseling].

The Gift of Anxiety

Every difficult feeling holds a gift waiting to be unwrapped. When we stop running from anxiety and let ourselves feel it fully, in a safe and supported way, it begins to transform. I've seen it open into:

• Clarity — those "aha" moments about what needs to change
• Courage to take the step we've been putting off
• Energy and aliveness that was tied up in worry
• Compassion for ourselves and others
• Presence — a return to the present moment, the only place we are ever truly safe

Worked through, anxiety becomes a great awakener. It calls us to live a bigger, braver life.

Meditation for Anxiety

Most forms of meditation help calm the mind and relax the body, and any of them can be a good start. The practice I've taught for over 50 years, [Inner LightFire meditation], goes a step further. It helps you work directly with the energy of anxiety and fear, so it can move and transform instead of staying stuck.

Working Through Anxiety at Our Retreats

Reading about anxiety helps. Real change happens when you feel your way through it with loving support.

At our [Grief, Loss and Difficult Emotions Retreats], small groups of 6 to 12 people learn to lean into uncomfortable feelings — anxiety included — rather than avoid them. Using breath, sound, movement, and the healing power of community, people release fears they have carried for decades. I've watched it happen over and over, and it's always a moving experience of relief and expansion.

As my mentor Lawrence Stibbards put it, "If we are bottled up by fear, then our lives are bottled up." When you release that fear, life opens up.

Go To Our Retreat Schedule

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The Deeper Meaning of Anxiety

From both a psychological and spiritual point of view, anxiety often appears when we've lost touch with the present moment and with the Love and Light at the core of who we are.

Many anxious thoughts are old stories — conditioned beliefs about ourselves and the world that we picked up long ago. Anxiety can signal that it's time to see through those stories and wake up to something truer and more authentic.

As we work through anxiety and discover its gifts, we come home to the present moment with more awareness, compassion, courage, and wisdom than we have ever had.

When to Get Extra Support

My approach is holistic and mostly non-medical, but it isn't a substitute for medical care. If anxiety makes daily life hard, panic attacks are frequent, or you have thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed mental health professional. In the US you can call or text 988 at any time. Therapy or medication can bring real relief — and can make it easier to do the deeper work of listening to what anxiety has to teach.

Jon Terrell, M.A., has led grief and emotional healing retreats and taught meditation for more than 50 years. He leads Grief, Loss and Difficult Emotions Retreats at Star Dance Ranch in Massachusetts, as well as in Florida and California. For more, go to my bio

"Although the world is very full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." — Helen Keller

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